Ask Sahaj: I live with my parents and generational trauma ‘runs the house’

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Ask Sahaj: I live with my parents and generational trauma ‘runs the house’
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How does a letter writer living with her emotionally immature parents put up boundaries?

: I’m currently living with my Dominican parents and generational trauma practically runs the house. My mom denies ever doing anything wrong, while my dad shuts down all conversations when trying to resolve an issue.

Focusing on how you can show up differently in the relationship won’t stop your parents from behaving the way they do. But it can make the interactions more manageable - at least until you figure out whether there’s a bigger decision that needs to be made, like moving out. Good luck!I have a friend who lives on the other side of the country. We have long conversations two to three times a week. We have been close friends since college.

If not, there’s a lot unknown here that can make it easy for your brain to draw its own conclusions. It’s possible that the small wedding didn’t seem like that big of a deal to your friend; or it was somethingdidn’t want to talk about; or she didn’t want to make you feel bad. There are so many possibilities for where she was coming from and a lot of them don’t point to her actively trying to hide her life from you. That is your own speculation.

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