A letter writer’s mom wants them to forgive a younger sibling who refuses to apologize for doing something “truly offensive.”
My family are immigrants from East Asia. I am the older of two, by about 7.5 years. Growing up, my younger sibling’s needs always came before mine, and I was expected to accept that. For example, if there were school events for each of us that occurred simultaneously, my mother would always choose to go to my sibling’s event. If there was a last piece of candy, my sibling would get that.
A week ago, my mother tried to ask me to be the bigger sibling and forgive my younger sibling, because that’s what I’m supposed to do. I asked her to see my perspective, that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way my sibling treated me. I asked my mother to validate my hurt feelings, to which she replied, “I really can’t do that.” It felt like she showed the same favoritism that I experienced growing up. Although I am not surprised, it still hurts and is heartbreaking for me.
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