Social media is rife with sexually frustrated wives and husbands sharing personal stories of marriages devoid of intimacy and intercourse.
A husband of four years writes: “She is an amazing wife to me. Extremely supportive, loving, and an incredible mother to our child. But the last time we had sex was when our child was conceived 15 months ago. What do I do?” “In longer-term relationships, over the lifespan there will be different stressful periods such as post-partum, parenting in the early years and adolescence, in addition to caring responsibilities of parents as they get older. If couples live further away from their families there is an absence of extra childcare support, so taking some time for themselves, such as going out for a meal, is not possible, practically or financially.
Talk around marriages where intimacy has fizzled out is rarely a problem where both partners, acutely aware of their “dead bedroom”, find its absence poses no threat to a happy future together. partner even though she is looking after the children, or is more involved in the domestic world than he is, and she’s probably working full-time as well, and if his expectations are, ‘we should be having sex’ and she’s not willing or not able to have sex with him, then he is discontent. He is frustrated and annoyed and that will leak out potentially in different ways that make her feel bad about herself, and feel shamed and inadequate.
Eithne Bacuzzi, who has 20 years’ experience in relationship counselling, and works as a specialist in psychosexual therapy in Sandyford, Dublin, says there’s a perception that younger generations are more sexually active, which is not the case. Kavanagh adds: “We’ve known for years that couples who have TVs in a bedroom have one-third less sex than couples that don’t. Those stats came out 20 years ago before we even had streaming services or a laptop in bed, or checking Facebook or Instagram before you go to sleep. Technology has an impact and an effect on the brain.
But growing apart can have serious consequences, especially when one partner is craving intimacy, has a higher libido, and turns to porn to satisfy a desire. In 2021 Ofcom, the UK’s communications regulator, found that half of British adults watched porn during the pandemic lockdowns in 2020. Some 15 million people visited Pornhub during this time, audience numbers more usually associated with tuning into the BBC news.
Source: Entertainment Trends (entertainmenttrends.net)
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