Ask Jennifer: Why won't my fiancee try to save money

I am engaged and due to get married in the spring of next year. I know it’s over a year away, but I also know weddings are not cheap. I also want to buy a house at some point too, so am saving really hard for both.She works and earns a pretty good salary, but she also goes out for lunch most days. She goes out with her colleagues and friends a couple of night of the week as well.

As though to rub salt in a wound, she went online last week and bought a set of cushions and a throw for a sofa we don’t yet have — because we are still living with her parents, and have been for the past year. Almost every week I hear from people who don’t talk about their feelings, fears and worries, and then wonder why their relationship is falling apart. I am not suggesting this is happening to you, at least not yet.

Without it, your financial concerns are likely to grow into resentment, and from there escalate into a full-blown row. I am due to start in a couple of weeks and am really looking forward to it. It’s a well-paid job doing work that I enjoy. My boss has also agreed that I can fit my hours around my children’s schooling.

Then explain how much you’d like her support, whether she looks after the children or not. Hopefully this will bring around, but be prepared for the possibility that you may not change her mind. You will, however, at least have made the first move to calm things down.

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