Working with Dr Evil to concoct a Wallabies fiasco

And so to the demi-denouement, the semi-finals of the Rugby World Cup in Paris. Yes, of course, it is a pleasure and a privilege to be here. For starters, the gaily festooned rugby mobs on the Champs Elysees and all around are a delight to behold – chanting, singing, waving their scarves with so much bonhomie that it would kill a brown dog.

Meanwhile, there is only one upside in England being in the semi-finals instead of Australia. That is, they will get flogged by 40 points. And if we had been there, it would have been worse.As to Eddie Jones’ press conference at Coogee Oval this week, and his conclusion, let’s do a thought experiment.

At the point that I suggest the coach picks five different captains for the first six matches, Dr Evil will protest – that is just not believable, and risks exposing his devilish plan. But we get that one over the line anyway, together with Eddie making so many changes in the selections in successive Tests that team cohesion is out of the question.

And they can have a game plan that will see the Wallabies’ most devastating runner Marika Koroibete advance the ball just nine metres. And they continue to be endlessly penalised for the same rucking infringement, every time they get within cooee of the opposition line.All these things happened in this campaign.

Failing that, and if Rugby Australia cannot move him on, his unfettered power to do as he likes with the team has to stop. Give him three strong selectors and experienced assistant coaches selected by RA, not him.One way or another, however, it will amaze me if this flaming clown car can continue rolling for much more than another fortnight.

“When Jones wears this smirk, it pulls his cheeks taut and creases his temples. The eyes let on that it’s still him in there – they glint so bright you could ice-skate on his eyeballs. But altogether, the features form an expression of bemused menace. A Joker who could laugh or strike at any moment, with a nod so barely perceptible it is more of a vertical quiver.”I can’t quite believe he said that.

Source: News Formal (newsformal.com)

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