hile I didn’t see the cottage-cheese craze coming – who could ever have predicted this pineapple-chunk-inflected bout of collective madness? – now it’s here, I find myself strangely fascinated by it. In one sense, of course, its ascendancy is utterly banal: another creation of social media , it can’t be long before the buffet moves on, maybe in the direction of luncheon meat or tinned mandarins.
Like a mushroom, this trend sprouted last year, seemingly overnight, in the US. “It’s time to stop pretending it’s not delicious,” said Emily Eggers, a New York chef and food blogger who was on a “mission” to make it the new burrata – a quote I thought so preposterous at the time, I quickly added it, last minute, to a book I was writing.
Its sheer blandness would never induce, as a slice of brie might, the desire for seconds – or any desire at all, the once celebrated editor of, whose diet I’d read about in a group biography by Laura Shapiro called. By her own volition, Brown’s greatest achievement in life, apart from making widely available all that very good advice about orgasms, was to be thin, and in the cause of this, on weekdays she survived on a diet comprising only tuna, cottage cheese and an apple.
If you’d like to try cottage cheese made in the traditional way, you’ll need a muslin bag or to visit a proper dairy – and even then it’s no great shakes: inoffensive at best. But the fact is that most of it is made in industrial quantities in factories, where the curds, which taste of nothing very much, are carefully kept bright white, in the manner of teeth that are overly bleached. In a way, you could say that cottage cheese seems to have very little to do with food at all.
Who on earth, I can’t help but wonder, really wants this, and why? The simple answer, I guess, is that in a culture that runs 24/7 on boasting and selfies, just about anything can be optimised, even fetishised – up to and including, it seems, the very definition of the soft and the savourless.
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