'When someone uses their words to control you, no one sees your scars'

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As domestic violence services begin to report cases of perpetrators using the threat of COVID-19 as a form of abuse, the number of calls is set to climb again.

The huge spike in calls is related to a new awareness of what constitutes family violence, says Melonie Sheehan, the National Program Manager for 1800RESPECT. “Violence can be, but is not always, of a physical nature,” she says. “It can include other forms like verbal, financial or emotional abuse, or any intimidating or controlling behaviour that leaves a person disempowered, isolated and fearful.

The first time he hit me, it was a head-butt on the side of the road. I was shocked but, more than that, I felt humiliated; far too embarrassed to call anyone. As time wore on, the violent episodes became frequent. Sometimes he’d roundhouse kick me for no reason, spit in my face or pull the handbrake as he drove us through a red light, just to see what would happen next.

With their help, I began attending weekly counselling sessions for victims of violence; they helped me improve my self-esteem and create an escape plan. I packed a bag and fled to New Zealand, where I stayed for two months until he stopped threatening to kill me. I was going through my divorce when I met my second husband. He was attending rehab and began playing saviour, winning me over with lines like, ‘A man should treat a woman with respect.’ I got pregnant, and we married soon after. But he always needed to know where I was going, what I was doing. If I put on make-up, he would accuse me of cheating.

 

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Oh look, there’s the Punter making it about him again! 🙄 Every single time a man does something wrong he has to say “but, but, look! A woman can be bad too!”

I notice that the emphasis is still on physical and, now, financial abuse in stories covered by television, but emotional abuse is rarely mentioned. Gaslighting and passive-aggressive bullying are far more insidious, and more often perpetrated on the children as well.

There is just way too much of this going on

tell them to go to schools ...its apparently safe there...nothing can touch them...offended...so are most people with the dross now spewed out by the liberal govt...lucky numbers are low due to actions of state premiers

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