When it comes to parenthood indecision, loved ones don’t always hold the answer

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For Claire, seeking out trusted friends and family often left her feeling judged for even questioning the decision at all.

Some people know from the get-go that they want to be parents. For others, a child-free existence appeals most. Then there are those on the fence. Claire Jensen, a 36-year-old personal stylist, is there.

Carefully weighing your options isn’t a bad thing, considering how much of your life will be devoting to a little human.She can see the love and joy having children can bring. But then she worries about logistics, including the financial strain and the impact on her career. Timing has also been a factor, as Jensen never wanted to be a single parent and has only recently embarked on a relationship.

If you’re struggling to work out which way to go, Highet recommends talking to trusted friends and family about their own experiences. Was it as they expected? Do they feel happy with their decision? “For those who’ve had children, what have been the rewards, the sacrifices? For those who have not had children, have they come to regret this later in life and why?” Highet recommends talking to range of people at different life stages.

Highet says exploring your feelings with a professional offers a safe environment and structured approach to help unpack your views. They can also help determine whether your perspective is impacted by, say, your own childhood experiences, and if your concerns are “warranted or accurate”.A professional can also challenge your views and guide you towards a better understanding of your thoughts.

 

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