When Lena and I first met, 11 years ago, I was still married, but felt lost and a bit alone in that relationship. Lena and I knew almost immediately we were supposed to be together.
Lena was also looking for a deep connection and, like me, she had been exploring tantra. I used self-pleasure, exploring the idea that ejaculation and orgasm are separate. All these activities end up in lovemaking. With yoga, we’ll practise for 20 minutes and then cuddle, and then make love for 20 minutes until the alarm goes off and it’s back to work. We don’t always have penetrative sex; it can be just lying together naked. I love the touch of Lena’s skin and being close to her body.The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine.
For us, the basic principle is that tantra is a very easy way of meditating. Many people who are passionate and enjoy sex get those benefits without even knowing tantra. Many people love sex because it’s the only place they get out of their own head. And that’s really what tantra is. Instead of focusing on thoughts or breathing, you use your lover as the object of focus.I was lucky when I met Ben, because he knew how to avoid ejaculating.
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