2004 cameo, Jennifer Lopez – who has been engaged five times and married three – congratulates a newlywed couple by saying: “And just remember, the secret to a happy marriage is – oh, who am I kidding?”
The answer, according to relationship experts, is that it heavily depends on how love was shown to you in your childhood. This is when you form your attachment style to your primary caregiver, which in turn influences the quantity and quality of romantic relationships throughout your life.
Karantzas explains that those with an anxious attachment style are needier and have lower self-esteem. They need the validation they believe relationships give them and, fearful of solitude, are more likely to jump quickly into new relationships after one fails. They’re the least likely to put any caps on the number of times they fall in love: they’re probably no strangers to heartbreak and unrequited love.
The research psychologist recommends taking breaks from love, with enough time to properly heal and rediscover what you actually want. Those who cap the times they fall in love remind her of people who swear they’re never drinking again after a bad hangover. “It rarely happens,” she says.