Seven days in isolation yields an untold family love story

I get a little over-excited, but unfortunately it turns out both Adriene and I keep our clothes on.

And it did, because I flicked through every single magazine. If there was a story I really had to keep I tore it out and placed it in a folder.Then, as Kondo suggests, I said “thank you” to the remaining magazine and put it in the discard box. By the end of the day I had two fat folders, but I’d thrown my weight in magazines into the recycling bin.Apparently, during the Black Death, quarantined Florentines received a daily allowance of two loaves of bread and a pint of wine.

I went “method” while making the Ramsay pie, swearing at the apples as I sliced them, hurling spatulas at the wall and berating imaginary assistant chefs until they cried imaginary tears. But the result was the best of the three. The secret is in caramelising the apples first, which, as Ramsay would say, is a "f---ing time-consuming shitfest", but it’s worth it. I will be making this again long after COVID-19 hightails it out of here. And I shall dub thee isolation pie.

As I click on more and more words and phrases to build up my vocabulary, a cartoon owl appears onscreen, waves at me and says, “Your hard work is paying off!” Poor old Cecil. My mum and Kevin lost the match that day, but they won each other. “Your father always said he would never forget me walking down the steps to the courts in my little white tennis dress,” she informs me.

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