Paid fans and England band show everyone is for sale at Qatar World Cup | Barney Ronay

In return the England band and their fellow Fan Leaders will receive flights, tickets, accommodation and £60-a-day spending money. “You will be expected to stand up, sing the song/chant, wave your flags,” Qatar’s guidance states, adding in red letters: “Be ready in your shirt, flags and scarves to cheer and shout.” Just to be clear, that’s shout. Not weep, or scream, or collapse into a slough of melancholy.

It is to be hoped a similar fate does not await the England band, out there trundling through their circular set-list, hands blistered and bloody as they creak out another rendition of the Great Escape, dreaming of vaulting their own barbed wire fences, trumpet nozzles slowly filling with tears and sweat and snot as the cameras pan back for one more cramp-ridden wave. Behold our migrant happiness workers, here to decorate the imperial show with their joy.

And really, you do wonder how this will play out in practice. Will Qatar’s image massagers suggest an updated version of the usual playlist? No Surrender To The Global Zionist Hegemony, perhaps. A pre-match chorus of Ten British-Made RAF Joint-Squadron Typhoon Bombers. Please Don’t Take Me Home, Because You’ve Confiscated My Passport. Plus of course the classic Southgate You’re The One, You Still Turn Me On .

Plus of course, there is the obvious point that England’s fan leaders have sold themselves for a disappointingly small amount of money. David Beckham got £15m for his soul, although the Beckham soul does come with 75 million Instagram followers, a range of country-squire hats and the weary disappointment of anyone who thought it was cool when he went on the cover of Attitude magazine.

Source: Entertainment Trends (entertainmenttrends.net)

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