My secret to being well-dressed

I don’t expect any sympathy from you but I suffer from the rare misfortune of having some extremely stylish friends. One is the editor of, one used to be, and another is often named in best-dressed lists. When I visit their houses, there’ll be models, designers, stylists – the beautiful people. Boo-f…ing-hoo, you might say. But please, stay with me on this.

It’s true that I am well dressed. And I can make that statement without feeling self-conscious or as if I’m abandoning all humility because there is a team of people who buy clothes, make sure they fit me and then style them before I wear them on TV. Then mostly I just copy the look elsewhere. I think we could also learn a thing or two from Dame Helen Mirren, who apparently doesn’t pack anything when she goes on holidays. She travels with a carry-on bag and then stops at a charity shop wherever she lands. Once she’s done, she donates it all back before she leaves. I don’t mind wearing second-hand clothes at all, but I do mind smelling like mothballs and I really mind looking like I’m going to a costume party.

I'm sure the whole of the Ukraine is just riveted to this piece right now. What poppy-cock this is. A complete waste of everyone's time.

WHO CARES

Electric cars now the well-dressed. Bye, bye The Age. This paper is definitely not made for my social class.

Did Nadia take the day off?

Nobody cares.

Yeah, that's enough. I'm cancelling my submission, this stuff is rubbish.

There's more I's in this article, than a bag of potatoes

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