upset by this and he didn’t answer. We haven’t discussed it since. I have gained. I’m worried that I have killed off our sex life completely with myYour partner’s sleep disorder has led to enormous challenges for both of you. You need specialised help and sometimes it is necessary to have more than one expert involved. I believe you need to have the physician who diagnosed the sleep disorder work with a sex therapist or sexual medicine specialist to try to help you both navigate this.
Different sleep disorders require different approaches, so you need support and education – and so does he. Most importantly, do not blame yourself or your weight gain for this. It was perfectly reasonable of you to try to engage him in a conversation about your feelings, but the overall problem is insurmountable without professional guidance. Sexual problems that go hand in hand with other psychological or physiological issues should never be approached in isolation.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to
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