My housemates leave dirty dishes lying around for days. How can I let go of my irritation?

‘Everything your housemates do may eventually start to seem like more evidence confirming their disregard for you.’ Painting: In the Kitchen by Mihály Munkácsy.‘Everything your housemates do may eventually start to seem like more evidence confirming their disregard for you.’ Painting: In the Kitchen by Mihály Munkácsy.My relationship with my two housemates is becoming fractious. We’ve lived together for two years and I consider them both friends.

I am sleeping with my housemate. This was a bad idea, but I am very attracted to him | Leading questionsI don’t think I will be able to make them change their behaviour long-term – they clearly have a different tolerance for mess and are not acting maliciously. But I find myself furious from the moment I wake up and walk into the dirty kitchen, and it’s not only impacting my relationship with them but everyone around me who has to put up with my grumpiness.

You’re right that irritation like this can eat a relationship whole, whether it is spouses or friends or roommates. The resentment curdles too much, the theme gets too set into the narrative of the relationship. Everything your housemates do may eventually start to seem like more evidence confirming their disregard for you ; every creak in the flat more proof you’re trapped in an unenjoyable living situation.

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