My boyfriend’s behaviour is making me second-guess everything. What should I do?

‘There aren’t many worse feelings in the world than chasing engagement or approval from someone who no longer cherishes you,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: detail of Narcissus and Echo in The Empire of Flora by Nicolas Poussin.‘There aren’t many worse feelings in the world than chasing engagement or approval from someone who no longer cherishes you,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: detail of Narcissus and Echo in The Empire of Flora by Nicolas Poussin.

But here’s the real issue: I caught him red-handed flirting with some other girl on social media! I trust him, but this is making me second-guess everything. I don’t know whether to confront him about it or just keep quiet and hope it blows over. I just can’t decide between wanting to salvage what we have and not wanting to be played for a fool. And to top it all off, I’m scared that if I bring it up, it’ll just lead to a huge fight and make things worse.

As to your concerns about starting a fight, I’ve always felt that “talking about it might make it worse” is a bit like “it’s rude to share information about your salary” – a politeness rule that benefits the already powerful. If silence about something that matters to you is the best way to keep the peace, how much is that peace really worth keeping?

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