Many of us try to avoid solitude, but we could be missing out

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Solitude is a lost art. This is how I learnt to love being alone

Alone Time: Four Seasons, Four Cities, and the Pleasures of Solitude

"There's such a stigma about being on your own," says clinical psychologist Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, who has teenagers herself and is already feeling concern about the empty nest. "How am I going to keep busy? That's how I frame it in my mind." In Paris, I feared looking "sad" when actually, venturing out to eat would have transformed my evening."Sometimes you need to be alone in a room or on a bench somewhere, to ask, 'Am I living the way I want to live?' " Rosenbloom tells me. "You find out who you are when you're alone. You can be a little daring, try new things, and then you have that wonderful satisfaction. You did it, you're capable of it, and that's a nice feeling.

The solitude is uplifting – which is something my friend Louise, 43, a designer, has long understood. She found alone time essential after having twins 12 years ago and still regards it as fundamental for her wellbeing. She walks in local parks – no dog for an excuse – almost daily. "I walk at my own pace. To have peace, let my mind wander and be by myself in nature is so good for my mental health.

 

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Noooooo, it's not. I LOVE my own company. I can eat and drink what I want, read what I want, watch what I want, go where I want, do I want, talk to whom I want, when I want. It's all about me.

Playing tunes alone.

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