I’m currently sobbing in a foetal ball. My condition? Severe PP, or Pressie Paranoia. With Santa already harnessing his reindeer, I still haven’t made any purchases. What to buy?
“Of course, top of a woman’s Christmas wish list is world peace and climate-change reversal … But failing that, boys, you really can’t go wrong with jewellery.”Clearly I’m not alone.
Even more annoying are offspring who forget to buy a present for mums who’ve sweated over every Yuletide detail, from spraying pine cones silver to stuffing walnuts up tiny birds’ bottoms for the gourmet lunch spectacular. My advice? Neck a bottle of whisky and try to remember that a child is for life, not just for Christmas.
Living in environmentally sensitive times, it’s important to recycle. I recycle everything: plastic, husbands, jokes … But recycling gifts? Never. There’s a certain white elephant that’s done the rounds of my family at least three times. And I mean “white elephant” literally: the chipped pachyderm is made of palest porcelain.My godmother has a gift box which rivals Tutankhamun’s tomb. Each and every Christmas she just throws in the gifts she’s been given and the next year re-wraps them.
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