When I first interviewed women for my PhD thesis about buying sexual services, I was struck by their new-found sexual power. These women had identified, prioritised and taken the courage to satisfy their sexual needs.
The truth is, I’m just a granny from the suburbs – a retired nurse, sexuality counsellor and academic. But I had been hiding a big secret. I had been concealing my experience as a sex worker. I loved, and still love, being a sex worker. Sex work paid the bills while I solo-parented four daughters, keeping them in middle-class comfort. Sex work funded and informed my sexology and academic careers.
But, as I was researching women’s sex lives, I realised that the tremendous sexual power I commanded privately was being negated by this secret. Slut-shaming kept me in the closet and prevented me from sharing the benefits of feeling sexually powerful from primal experience.This very dichotomy gave me a particular perspective that I now realise other women, including my four daughters, can benefit from.
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