I am 34, have work I love and I own my own flat. I am having the first serious relationship since a break-up two years ago, and I am full of anxiety about it.
But I care too much about what my family thinks. They are religious and when, at 26, I moved to live with my now ex, my father said I should never set foot in my parents’ house again and stopped talking to me.during the break-up, but I am wary of introducing another partner, this is not a problem for me, but I worry what they will think.
I got pregnant accidentally and had an abortion right after he moved. Despite not being able to afford the flight and having just started at his new job, he flew to be with me, which I really value. When I am with him I feel great, but when I am not, I’m anxious he isn’t right for me and I should end it.I have a hunch that I like your boyfriend. I also feel he isn’t so much the problem, rather, I think your family is the root of your anxiety.
When you are in the present with your boyfriend, everything is fine. When you are apart from him and imagining the future, or what other people will think of him you tell yourself things that make you anxious. The future remains a mystery. However, the information you do have is: how you feel when you are with him; how he behaves when he is with you; and what he does if he thinks you need support. That is real.
Not having your family when things are going to hell but sadly if your family can’t be there for you unconditionally then they probably are never really there.
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