Forget siblings, the best family relationship is cousins

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Your cousin is you but also not you, like yourself in a misty mirror.

What’s the best family relationship of them all? Not a sibling relationship, surely. As soon as you say the word “sibling”, the word “rivalry” follows, like a truck connected to its trailer. The parental relationship can be nurturing, that’s sometimes true. And aunts and uncles can be the best, except when they are the worst.The Bear’s Carmy and Richie know it: there’s nothing like “cousins”.

Their enthusiasm does not surprise me. Your cousin is you, but also not you. Your cousin sometimes looks a bit familiar, like yourself, in a misty mirror. Their father, your uncle, reminds you of your own parent – but only a bit. It’s your dad, remade. Then there’s your cousin’s mother. Your mother, but not your mother.

I pressed on, trying to convince him. “It’s true, I’m older than your daddy. I must be! After all, I’m your daddy’s father.”He was not so much aggrieved as spluttering with merriment. Why would his Pa tell such ludicrous tales? I get it. I really do. It’s a lovely and truthful idea. But I do wonder, does Pip think his parents have just chosen some conveniently located elderly couple – “they seem nice, they have a backyard and a pleasant dog” – and decided to drop him off every Thursday?

 

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