England doesn’t expect much these days: except when it comes to the World Cup | Marina Hyde

‘It’s notable that England’s national football side is almost the last area of the public realm of which some people still have the highest expectations.’‘It’s notable that England’s national football side is almost the last area of the public realm of which some people still have the highest expectations.’ell. About last night … to describe the conclusion of the group stages of this World Cup as crazy feels a bit like calling the residents of Arkham Asylum merely eccentric.

ITV’s Graeme Souness appeared to be suffering from a number of baroque medical conditions as he “analysed” the notion that the ball did not go out of play before Japan’s crucial second goal against Spain. Graeme’s conniption swiftly tipped over into such deep conspiracy theory that he is expected to follow his stint in Qatar with a secondment to Donald Trump’s stop-the-steal campaign. “Why have we not seen the evidence?” the studio’s Oliver Stone kept demanding rhetorically.

Should Souness find the siren call of US wingnuttery impossible to resist before the end of this tournament, he could perhaps be more competently replaced by any one of the rush of viewers who created their own at-home videos showing a ball which from one angle looked like it was wholly in their kitchen, but from another angle was actually revealed to still have an edge crossing over on to their living room carpet. Witchcraft. Sheer witchcraft.This is a World Cup like no other.

Well Germany are out, so that helps their cause...

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