I fear I’ve become a terrible bore. Or perhaps even more of a bore if you haven’t always enjoyed my company in the past. That’s fine, I’m not for everyone. Point is, I’ve become much harder to hang out with, or at least have a meal with. Because it’s my deep regret to announce that I now have a dietary requirement.
I still feel a bit cringey about it. No one likes to seem difficult or fussy. Aussies, and most certainly women, are supposed to be easygoing, amenable and fun! But poring over a menu and cross-examining the waiter about every hidden element of a dish isn’t a good time. And when it comes to eating at someone’s house – well, I’ve tended to just suck it up and pay for it later, rather than ask my host to find a delicious recipe for cardboard.
Weird ones, too – like insomnia. For decades, I’ve spent hours at night, lying wide awake or wandering around in the dark like Lady Macbeth, kept up by churning in my stomach, which I always thought was anxiety. Sometimes it is. But what about this crazy discovery? Often, it’s just because I ate onion! Yo, the link between gut health and mental health is real! It’s a miracle to me. I’ve rewritten who I thought I was. I’m not an anxious, insane insomniac.
With the clarity of a good night’s sleep and the self-righteousness of someone who has discovered the answers to her universe, I’ve been pondering this. We live whole lifetimes ignoring our needs.
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