Could anything be more awkward than standing on a stage, trying to make people laugh? Guests of this year’s Melbourne and Sydney comedy festivals reveal that, actually, that’s nothing …The most awkward break-up of my life was the one I had to have with a therapist. Like a lot of people coming out of lockdown, I’d already had a big break-up that year and had noticed that in living alone, I’d picked up a sad habit of talking to myself.
I didn’t say a thing, I thought, let Valentine’s Day come and go, Catherine, be patient. But then it was March, and I knew I had to say something, so I said, “Come here to me Lisa, what’s with the tree?” and she had the audacity to pick up her pen, look over her glasses at me and say “Oh, is that bothering you??” Get f---ed Lisa, I’ll pay for my own troubles but not yours, my love. I’m out!”I look back at this event that took place in my life with a quizzical fondness.
I spent a decent chunk of my childhood imagining the tooth fairy using my c--kring as a hoola hoop or Aerobie, or riding a bike with c--krings for wheels. Or maybe, in the tooth fairy Olympics, the rings were made up from the results of their intimate harvests.A very awkward moment happened in the first three months of going out with my then boyfriend from England . He brought up his mum’s birthday in conversation: the first of August.
She takes a bite and asks, “Daddy, why did you bring me into this world?” Now I have asked myself this question a lot, but the good thing about talking to yourself is that you can abort any time without being rude. “Baby, the world is not perfect, but there is a world at least. There is hope, hope that things will become better.” “So now I have to make the world a better place? Did you think this through?” It seems I did not.
Our first job was as a nanny for a local family looking after their three-year-old. On our first shift, the dad, Manu, explained to us, in French, that his son was unwell with a cold, and we were to give him paracetamol; he handed me the box and swiftly retreated to his study.to administer the dosage. A suppository, it turned out, which are apparently very common in Europe. But with Abi being zero help, I felt compelled to double-check.
It’s amazing that getting paid still can’t compensate for three hours of public humiliation but after I hit a gutter driving, hopefully my insurance company will pay for the damage due to an act of Awkeursym.As a brown woman working in the arts, I’m often asked what inspired me to start. The truth is I’ve always wanted to be a performer . A rite of passage for me was auditioning for my first high school musical.
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