Are you in a 'ships in the night' marriage?

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The latest books, TV shows and films are channelling marital alienation, not love stories.

Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson will have plenty of nervous couples in the audiences of Marriage Story.Narratives exploring human relationships were once largely concerned with the quest for love. This meant two sweethearts having to overcome the hurdles that stood between them and the altar, or the scandalous fallout from illicit affairs.

A wry take on the shifts from marital intimacy to alienation drives one of his year's most talked about novels, Taffy Brodesser-Akner's, which sees fortysomething New York hepatologist Toby find himself left behind in almost every way by his ambitious wife.

I thought the baby years would be hardest, but they seem halcyon compared with ... finding yourself cash-strapped and time-poor in midlife. In my circle, marital fraying is reassuringly common and the mutual commiseration hugely consoling. No one takes sides because we're all complicit in this midlife freak-out – plus I can't help noting that all the couples moan about pretty much the same stuff: "He shouts at the kids.""She criticises everything I do.""I know every word he's going to say.""She's off out again.""He won't try anything new.

 

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If only I was married. Been on lay-buy for 15 years. He’s hoping I die first....married to useless family....who have blocked remarriage...Wish I was a ships in the night marriage At least I could have a holiday

A ‘ship’s in the night marriage’ is perfectly fine by me. As long as there’s a safe docking every now and then, and a tug or two at the ready when required.

Is he good looking?

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