After 42 years of teaching, I’ve grown to dislike people – and just want me-time. OK?

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You’ve earned the right to dislike humanity for the rest of your life, writes our Modern Guru.

I keep getting asked, “What are you going to do today?” It’s not as if I’m a complete hermit, but I’ve just grown to dislike people and, more particularly, their offspring. What should I say?Wow, you must be exhausted.

Forty-two years of bratty, disrespectful kids who you’re no longer allowed to discipline. You can’t yell at them or give them a little ruler-slap on the back of the legs or chuck a duster at their heads and enjoy that satisfying white puff of chalk dust when it makes contact – like a clay pigeon exploding in a skeet shoot.

Forty-two years of delusional, aggressive parents who can’t understand why their perfect child got a FAIL on their last-minute solar system diorama – a bunch of Blu-Tack blobs stuck onto the end of wooden satay skewers from a kitchen bin, some of the skewers with bits of chicken still on them.

 

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