It’s a tricky situation. The biological clock is ticking, but apps don’t make it easy to find a partner who wants childrenLast modified on Mon 11 Jul 2022 09.07 BSTfew years ago I went for a drink with a female friend who had been dating for some time, but hadn’t met anyone in it for the long haul, and she was adamant that she wanted to have children. She felt the ticking of her biological clock acutely, but was frustrated that the men she met acted as though they had all the time in the world.
Pippa Bailey is 30, broke up with her long-term boyfriend a year ago, and is now “on the apps” in search of a partner. She is one of the female writers who you could say has taken the mantle from Fielding in writing frankly and honestly about the experience of modern romance. In a recent column about the Joachim Trier film The Worst Person in the World, whose thirtysomething female protagonist is in the midst of an early-30s crisis, she pinpoints a feeling.
Apps can facilitate this. Just as you are able to screen partners according to their vaccination status, or whether or not they smoke, you can also filter on the basis of whether someone wants kids or not. Bumble even has a basic info badge where you can state that it’s a deal breaker. But Bailey says that a lot of men simply don’t answer the question about children.
Though modern women are more confident in expressing all kinds of desires, it strikes me that for a woman to articulate the desire for a child – especially when it feels profound and urgent – remains to some extent taboo.
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