A day at the beach: ‘Quicksand had never felt real as a concept until this moment’

set out to explore. After wandering on to an unfamiliar beach, they started to get a sinking feelingPhotograph: Greg Hahn/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Greg Hahn/Getty Imagesack in the heady days of 2012, my partner and I were newly in love. We had recently returned from a month in Thailand, life was a beach and when we got back we couldn’t believe the horrifying pace of city life. “Forget this,” we thought. “We’re beach people.

The morning after moving day we had a hearty breakfast and headed out for a walk in our new neighbourhood. We came across a sweet little rowboat up on the sand. I think it was at this point I asked, casually, if we should turn back. After all, our mates had commitments back in town and a long drive to get there on time.

It was then that I started to get that sinking feeling. You know the one, where you realise you’re actually sinking. Knee-deep in farting mud, flashing back to Artax the horse’s traumatic death in The NeverEnding Story. At this point, we also realised our private beach wasn’t so private. Various neighbours were dotted along the inlet, sitting on deckchairs, laughing and pointing at us as we crawled on our hands and knees . Was this some form of hazing? Were we doomed to be bog people for the term of our natural lives?

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