Opinion by Maya Shankar: “Look for opportunities to practice imaginative courage, remember that why you do something is more important than what you do and, whenever possible, try and seek out awe.”
. My years working in public policy ended up being some of the most rewarding of my life. And they wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been inspired by my mom to imagine something beyond the page.
It was not a string that had popped but a tendon in my hand. For months, I remained in denial about my injury: I continued to play through pain, until the pain got so severe, I needed surgery. When that wasn’t successful, doctors told me I had to stop playing altogether.I found myself grieving not just the loss of the instrument, but also the loss of myself. If I was in an airport without a violin strap around my shoulder, it felt like I was missing a limb.
As I got older, though, there were moments when I lost sight of how extraordinary music is. Especially in my teens, I became a far more self-conscious musician, fearful of how my peers would judge my playing, envious of those who seemed to play effortlessly and burdened by the competitive nature of performance. My constant mental chatter — focused on all the wrong stuff — muted the awe.
Until one day in graduate school when I received a phone call. The organizers of a conference I was slated to attend in South Africa told me they had a surprise guest of honor: violinist Joshua Bell. They wanted to know whether I’d like to perform the Bach Double with him. They had no idea it had been years since I had picked up my violin. I had so much scar tissue in my hand that I realistically had only a concert or two left in me, period. I wanted this to be one of them.
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