A wife describes her husband's increasingly difficult hearing loss and his refusal to wear hearing aids. He blames her for 'mumbling' and directs his frustration at her, making their relationship strained.
By R. Eric ThomasMy husband and I have been married for 11 years. When we got married, he was slightly hard of hearing. The past few months his hearing has gotten worse to the point that I have to raise my voice and repeat several times for him to hear me. He then accused me of shouting at him and said if I didn’t mumble he could hear me. He further states that’s why I can’t get the TV voice remote to work because I mumble.
You can help him and help your relationship by – to use a colloquial phrase – saying the quiet part out loud. In an unheated moment, tell him that you understand his frustration but that it doesn’t help either of you to be in conflict. Even if you do mumble, his hearing loss is a fact. This isn’t about the remote; it’s about your relationship. You two can either sit in silence or you can take steps together to fix this. And then ask him what he wants to do.
My wife and I are at loggerheads with regard to how much financial support we should give him. We are supporting him to the tune of $5,000 a month. This will, over time, erode our retirement funds. We are both 75 years old. My wife thinks we should continue to support him even though he will not speak to us about his intentions. I don’t agree. Your thoughts would be helpful.You’re being incredibly generous and it’s hard to fault you for doing everything in your power to help your son.
Hearing Loss Relationship Problems Communication Issues Frustration Acceptance
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