This article explores the story of Ruby Franke, a Utah-based Mormon mother who gained immense popularity on YouTube for her family-oriented content. Initially known for her relatable parenting style and down-to-earth approach, Franke's channel attracted millions of subscribers. However, her videos took a dark turn recently with reports of alleged abuse and neglect, leading to criminal charges against her.
In 2015, Ruby Franke , a 32-year-old Mormon woman in Utah, became another parent sharing her family’s life on YouTube. The first video on her now-defunct channel,begins with old footage of her standing in a modest kitchen, her five children gathered around in anticipation as she cuts into a cake to reveal the gender of her sixth child. The video jumps to a scene at the hospital shortly after her new daughter’s birth.
Ruby said she decided to vlog after watching footage her parents had taken of her own childhood. “I thought,” she said. By then, Ruby’s three sisters had all started documenting their families on their own YouTube channels and collectively now have millions of subscribers. Seeing them connect with viewers “just by sharing their good lives” made Kevin want to do the same. He and Ruby saw an opening, perhaps even a higher purpose.
Her past, as she had described it in numerous self-published books, informed her approach. She grew up with six siblings in rural Arizona, raised by a mother with “a controlled and controlling exterior” and an emotionally disconnected father. By her own telling, Hildebrandt was a people pleaser who worried about upsetting her mother and spent much of her time alone or with animals.
“It was like a 12-step group,” Kevin later told police. During these sessions, which were held over Zoom, Hildebrandt pushed her clients to work on what she designated as their addictions — to drugs and sex, as well as to more abstract concepts like control. But her pet diagnosis was pornography addiction; even men who didn’t think they struggled with porn would be told they had a problem.
Ruby was inducted into Hildebrandt’s inner circle, joining Hanna and the company’s president, Pam Bodtcher, a mother of seven and a member of the LDS Church. She and Kevin became the poster couple for ConneXions, their smiling portraits accompanying ads for conferences and retreats. Ruby paid Hildebrandt $10,000 to become one of her “certified mental-health fitness trainers.”
Kevin found himself an outsider in his own house. He was not allowed to enter the kitchen without Ruby’s permission. He was no longer allowed upstairs, where Hildebrandt was staying. If he left the house, he had to ask Ruby when he could come back. She even decided when the two of them could talk. “It was during that time that I really became, I would say, dependent upon Ruby,” he said. “If she said a kind word to me, my whole day was made.
In July, Ruby told Kevin to move out of the house and end contact with their children. By then, Kevin had grown to believe that he’d treated his wife poorly and was addicted to pornography. He went from being a leader in the men’s group to getting “knocked to the bottom. Jodi was just piling on me,” he said, and the other men joined in. “It felt like a pack of dogs, and Jodi was the alpha.” Kevin decided on obedience.
Ruby decided she and her children would stay. Her two teenage daughters would keep going to school, but her two younger children would continue to be homeschooled. While the Frankes settled in, Hildebrandt took meetings with high-ranking LDS Church leaders. In the middle of the night on July 14, the boy tried to escape. Hildebrandt and Ruby found him walking on the road. When they got home, Ruby tied rope around his feet and waist and then around her own, forcing him to sleep attached to her. She drugged him. “I now know that in order to keep my son, I will need to put him back under sedation,” she wrote. When he came to, she watched while he showered and then shut him in a closet.
After the officers told Kevin how his children had been found, they left him alone in the room for ten minutes with a camera recording. When they returned, Kevin asked, “What’s going to happen to my wife? I love my wife.” He equated what he was experiencing to “getting run over by a steam truck.” “Everything you are sharing with me just sounds like a made-up story. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He let out a cry. He said he felt responsible.
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