The challenges and joys of a 'noob' single father with a special needs child

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SINGAPORE — Receiving a barrage of texts at work might be infuriating for some, but Mr Harvinderjit Singh knows his daughter Kara’s gif-spamming antics too well. This is just one of the daily interactions with her that the 47-year-old operations executive describes as “moments he lives for”.

At just 72 hours old, she suffered a neonatal stroke that affected the left side of her brain. In subsequent paediatric and neurologist specialist appointments, it was noted that her developmental milestones for language were delayed.The diagnoses took a heavy toll on the family. In 2017, Mr Singh and his wife separated. Kara’s mother then relocated to the Philippines for work and enrolled Kara in an inclusive kindergarten there.

To combat stress, he has tried a variety of activities such as taking walks after work, cycling and even planting during the Covid-19 circuit breaker period. Most recently, he took up Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Mr Singh proudly shows off one of Kara’s masterpieces — a framed portrait she had drawn of him with the word “noob” on it. The word “noob” is often used to describe an individual who is inexperienced in an activity, which Mr Singh can relate to.

“No one has ever prepared me to be a dad, especially a special needs father. I’m always going to have to learn and understand that she and I are never going to have the same day, but we will make the best of each day as it comes.”Describing their arrangement as a “rotational shift”, Mr Singh spends as much time as possible with Kara outside of work, while Kara’s grandmother helps out when Mr Singh is at work, fetching her from the bus stop after school and ensuring her meals are taken care of.

 

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