The Big Read: Generational gap — a bridge too far or are we making too much of it?

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SINGAPORE — When Diana, 31, became pregnant six years ago, her parents had insisted that she marry her then-boyfriend, who had proposed, and kept the baby.

SINGAPORE — When Diana, 31, became pregnant six years ago, her parents had insisted that she marry her then-boyfriend, who had proposed, and keep the baby.Speaking to TODAY, the account strategist, who declined to give her full name, said she did not want to get married or have children. And since then, her parents have yet to let the matter rest and have over the years, called her “selfish” for doing so.

These conflicts — stemming from what seem to be generational differences — feel insurmountable for the pair whom TODAY spoke to, and have resulted in rifts within their families. And they are not alone in facing what appears to be a generational divide. Sociologist Shannon Ang of the Nanyang Technological University said these generalisations are, for the most part, problematic.

The NYC Youth Sentiment Poll on Intergenerational Relations surveyed 700 Singaporeans earlier this month, comprising 500 respondents aged between 16 and 34, and 200 older respondents aged 35 and above.At least one in two non-youths describe the younger generation as “carefree, idealistic and entitled” while at least three in five youths view the older generation as “conservative, stubborn and hardworking”.

And while there is a clear generational difference in viewpoints — particularly on attitudes toward LGBTQ issues, environmental conservation, individualism versus collectivism, as well as marriage and parenthood — there is, in some instances, common ground beneath the surface and an acknowledgement that there is much to learn from the different perspectives.

Speaking to TODAY for this report, older individuals attributed the generational differences to the norms on gender and sexuality that have been passed down from the generations before them and enforced in their families and communities. The freelance performer said: “My mum has always been very open-minded. And I think that’s why there is some falling out with relatives because it is pretty evident that the way she does things is different from everybody else.”Mr Fairul Edham Hirdayat, 35, with his mother, Madam Norhayati Alwi, 62. His mother’s open-mindedness made him feel supported when the freelance performer came out as openly gay.

“As much as I want to accept their relationships, it’s very difficult because my beliefs,” she said, adding that she has not spoken openly about having such conflicted feelings to her loved ones.

 

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