Relationships: How to stop an argument in its tracks

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“The next time you and your partner are talking, and your partner becomes defensive, I want you to do this: Pause, and say, ‘I want to understand what happened there.”

Usually a small disagreement in relationships takes off into a full fledged argument when one person starts to become defensive.Consul is a couples and sex therapist who has a TikTok following of 160,000 people with 5.4 million likes.

“The second thing: If your partner did interpret what you said correctly, it gives you an opportunity to slow things down and understand what is happening for them and address the underlying issue, rather than get caught in a spiral of defensiveness.”

 

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