Commentary: Goodbye, womb — my emotional turmoil and reflections after an emergency hysterectomy

Nurjannah Suhaimi/TODAYThe cramps intensified every month. The bleeding increased in quantity. There were moments when, if I walked a little too fast, the world seemed to spin around me.

Initial diagnoses of appendicitis and ruptured cysts soon gave way to one: A degenerated fibroid in my womb. It was so big that it had outgrown its blood supply. In removing my womb, she promised to preserve my ovaries as there was no medical need to remove them. If she were to remove them, I would enter straight into menopause.At the time, I thought of it purely as a medical procedure. The pains were so bad that I really wanted to find a solution to ease them. In my mind, this was a purely physical ailment which needed to be removed as soon as possible. Problem solved.

I grieved for the womb which had helped me to sustain two pregnancies and bear two beautiful children.I grieved for a physical part of my being which I had now lost. Was it possible to feel “less” of a woman, having permanently lost my womb and thus the ability to have more children?As I spent time at home recuperating after the procedure, the emotional turmoil continued. I wept. I searched. I prayed. I journalled. I read.

First, for my female comrades, it’s so important for you to get connected with a good gynaecologist and undergo regular gynaecological checks.

Women's Health Health Parenting

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