Being a mother is hard work. Here’s why millennial mums are finding it harder

There was dog urine on the carpet, vomit on her blouse and a queasy seven-year-old to look after, but Dr Whitney Casares had just a few spare moments to clean up and change so she could resume the keynote presentation she had been giving when the school nurse called.

Generation X mums had to prove that they could do everything men could do – and then return home and work a second shift. Some Gen Xers were children of divorce, manifested an ironic detachment from their troubles and were prescribed Prozac to deal with the problem.And then came millennial mums, the women raised on “You go, girl!” in the 1980s and 90s and who today are in their 30s and early 40s.

While many Gen X mums confronted the middle of their lives as children were leaving for college, millennial mums are doing so with much younger children, and many more years of mothering ahead of them. Some are struggling to reconcile the vision they had of motherhood with a harsher reality they did not feel totally prepared for.

This is just one of the stinging realisations that can plant the seeds for an MMMC. While millennial women might have expected a more equitable home life, they still, in most cases, do a larger share of the domestic work and household worrying than men. Recently, Prof Twenge was looking at a picture on social media of an influencer who had just had a baby and was posing with perfect make-up.

Millennials are more likely than previous generations to think about these mounting pressures in terms of therapy speak. But the drive to become a more mindful, less reactive, more positive parent – a kind of mantra among many millennial mums – can create its own kind of pressure cooker.

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