What to watch for—and what not to ask—when your child is dealing with depression

In a recent forum for parents of students at De La Salle Zobel school, Dr. Maria Teresa Gustilo Villasor, who specializes in child and adolescent psychology, family ministries and pastoral counseling, lectured on “Family Mental Health and Wellness.”

Stress is the body’s physical, mental and chemical reaction to perceived disruptions. Its triggers may be self-generated, relationships, life changes, work, money and other irritants. Stress is an unavoidable consequence of living. Its effects accumulate over time, resulting in the wear and tear of body and mind. The body reacts the same way whether the trigger is perceived as positive or negative.

Depression is anxiety with restlessness, excessive worrying and agitation. These overlaps of depression and anxiety are emotionally tied, making it last for over two weeks. It manifests as sadness, irritability, tiredness, loss of interest in normal activities, self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts and disturbances in eating or sleeping.

Avoid saying: “You have nothing to be upset about…,” “What is wrong with you?,” “What you are doing is not good for you,” “You are looking for attention/making drama,” “Why are you doing this?,” “How can you do this to us? We love you!” “Ages 0-12 is your planting season for formation and foundation of a moral compass. This is when the parent is more important than academic achievement,” said Villasor. “At ages 0-7, the most important figure is Mom. After the emotional side is developed, at ages 7-12, the father’s presence is important. After 12 years old, they will look for other role models. Teens don’t care if you’re home, as peers/media become more important.

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