What NOT to say when someone’s coming out to you

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One thing every LGBTQ+ needs when they do come out: love. | via philstarlife

When she was six years old, my Gen Z cousin asked her mother, “Mom, am I half boy?” Unlike her sister, she didn’t like playing with dolls, she didn’t want to go to ballet school, she didn’t like dresses.

In her hurt and anger, she couldn’t see what her cousins could see as clear as day—that her mother had enormous love for her it could encompass the divide with her dad, that it would help her ride out the adversity that was going to dissipate eventually. For some, especially with older gay men, there was no need to “officially” come out “kasi obvious naman.”A gay friend, 50, tells me, “Wala naman akong dramatic moment eh. Nag text lang ako to a good friend and sabi niya, ‘Okay.’ In my family, we never talked about it, they just knew.”

Here are some things not to say when someone comes out to you, according to young people who have recently done it:Matteo, 21, says, “When people say that, it’s as if they know me or know what I’m going through. But more than words, what really hurt me was how I was treated rather than what was said to me, especially at my former religious school.”Gab, 20, says, “They’re equating my being gay with being a bad person.

 

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philstarlife Exactly. I am a demisexual, pansexual, nonsexual two gender nonbinary gay straightophobic transpecies wombat. My pronouns are: I/You/They. I am not looking for any attention. Just love me.

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