WATCH: How did you come out?

I realized that I was gay when I started looking at other guys during elementary. It was just pure fascination. I was just fascinated. I just found them beautiful as people. And right then and there, I realized I was gay. And at first I was trying to deny it. I tried to deny it because you know, I was very Catholic before, but in the end when I hit high school, I just accepted it – I’m gay.I think I first had the idea, but I didn’t have the concept, when I was about 6.

Eventually, I came out to more people. To some of my friends, and when I was about 22, I wrote an article when I was still a full-time journalist. Everyone important to me read it. My parents texted me and said they read it. My dad’s exact words were, “read it, luv u.”Actually, sobrang accident eh. It was a fun, happy night. When I was 12 and Grade 6 ako. And then, sa bahay nagsasayaw-sayaw ako.

There was this feeling of hiding constantly. And in that feeling of hiding, there’s always that feeling of fear. I decided that I didn’t want to live with that fear anymore. So I wanted to come out. At times there’s still that fear – that people would judge you. But at that time, or at this time, because I know that I’m already out, I can stand by who I am and not hide anymore. That’s why I came out.What really pushed me that time when I was in college was actually the RH bill.

My dad told me, ay dapat ganito ka lang. Dapat ganito ka, dapat masculine gay. Pero hindi pala. I wanted to show everyone, I can express myself through art and that’s makeup. Gustong gusto ko ‘yun. ‘Yung pagpapahaba ng buhok – I want to play with hair. It was very fun and ‘yung mga tao alam nila kung ano ako. Wala akong tinatago. ‘Yun ang pinakamalaking bagay, ang maipagmamalaki ko ay wala akong tinatago.I could move in a freer way. I could be more comfortable with myself.

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