Thank you so, so much for your letter which, in my clinical experience, represents what many parents feel and fear these days. I agree with Mr. Baer’s analysis and also with his suggestion that you have several conversations together.
Indeed, parents may have more financial clout but children usually have the upper hand emotionally. Jill already knows that, as I presume your wife does too. You are supporting your daughter though she has a small income which, I suspect, is enough to pay for her outings with her boyfriend. If you ask Jill to contribute a realistic amount towards her board and lodging at your place, she will become more aware of how much she spends on him, if only because her discretionary funds have become limited.
This way, Jill is “forewarned” about the difficulties of being the main “breadwinner” and at least she knows what she is getting herself into, should she decide to go the path her aunties did.
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