[Two Pronged] Husband won't go down on me

Rappler's Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.

I’m trying my best to understand. Lately, no action at all in bed. I’m 46 and I don't know what to do any more.Thank you for your message, which was commendable for its clarity and succinctness. Sometimes, however, revealing merely the bare bones of a problem is not the best way to get the most useful answer but you have chosen to be parsimonious with the details and that is certainly your privilege.

Clearly discussion of oral sex is not taboo in your household but it is not at all clear why after all your efforts your husband is not only unwilling to perform but even give the real reason for his refusal. You do not share any of his excuses, spurious or otherwise, so we cannot know if he has concerns that originate in religion, his views on spousal roles in marriage, past experience etc.

We have no knowledge of your financial and other background details but obvious choices available to you could include: 1) living with the present situation ; 2) co-existing within the same house but free to live your life as you see fit; 3) leaving him altogether and moving on. Best of luck,Thank you very much for your letter. Others may find the options Mr Baer presented to you in the last paragraph of his letter a bit extreme, but I, for one, feel they are spot on.

You have let him know that cunnilingus is something you would enjoy with him and yet he has not done it. Cunnilingus is not an involuntary action that just happens automatically, whether you want it to or not. To have it happen a person must decide to do it and then command his tongue and mouth to actually do it. In other words, it is under his complete control, so to not even try to do it after all these years seems purposely cruel and even contemptuous.

Hahahhaahhahahah I remember someone tanyajerusalem jdashnine_

1 Germaphobe 2. Traumatic experience 3. Lazy 4 Vegan for sure.

Maybe she should start washing?

Ask help from Maria Palad🤪

could be a trauma. :-)

Whyyyy? 😱

WHAT A SHAME!

Oh no!😂

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