“Uy, kelan na ang baby?” “Di pa kayo nabubuntis?” “Congrats on the wedding! When are you planning to have a kid?” “Sige na, gawa na kayo ng baby, gusto ko na nga apo.” “’Bat ayaw niyo pa magka-anak?”These are just some of the many casual statements made by relatives, friends, and even immediate family members directed to married couples, specifically women, who have voluntarily or involuntarily made the choice not to bear children.
“When we were boyfriend-girlfriend, we’d talk about how exciting it is to have little versions of ourselves,” Trixie said. A combination of each partner’s own internal struggles, Paula having to be the breadwinner for her nuclear family, and both of their dysfunctional family backgrounds stalled the couple’s decision.
For Paula, it was a simple but hard-hitting truth: Life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to be. That means no fairy tale endings, the perfect prince, and an easy life ahead – but instead, bills, debts, and a partner with their own baggage to deal with, you included. “Coupled with my own life circumstances, I know I am not emotionally and mentally equipped to raise a child, when I barely even have the time to take care of myself,” Paula also added.Another strong factor? The world we live in – chaos, poverty, war, climate change, and its inevitable disintegration.
“These parents end up abusing and depriving these children of having a good, fulfilling life. This is just despicable.”For Trixie, Paula, and many other women out there – judgment day isn’t just one day – judgment happens on many days.What are some of the “worst” tactless, insensitive experiences they remember? “My mother-in-law told me it would make my mother happy if I gave them anTrixie said. “It is not my responsibility to provide for the amusement of the older generation.
“There is a need for offspring if we want our families to continue existing in the future. The future generation becomes their legacy,” Trixie says. “Having kids doesn’t have to be your greatest contribution to society. You don’t have to feel incomplete,” she adds.
Better someone who chose to not be instead of someone who forced to be. There is place only for the one who try to be the best. I'm happy with them decision.
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