How to deal with grief — and persevere — mid-pandemic

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When she began writing her new book, 'Keep Moving,' poet Maggie Smith had no idea how much the world would be suffering by the time it came out. Her 'notes to self' have resonated deeply with many struggling to grieve our own mid-pandemic losses.

Editor's note: Jessica DuLong is a Brooklyn-based journalist, ghostwriter, book coach and the author of"Saved at the Seawall: Stories from the September 11 Boat Lift" and"My River Chronicles: Rediscovering the Work that Built America."Maggie Smith's poem"Good Bones" made the rounds again on social media amid the post-election vote-tallying limbo that fanned the fires of Americans' already heightened anxiety.

The center of the Venn diagram where uncertainty, grief, anger, sadness and confusion overlap is a very dark place. We need to draw upon the best parts of ourselves to get through this: our resilience, courage and belief in what is possible. I think the book is reaching people in that way.One is making time every day to do something that makes you feel like your core self. For me, that's writing.

Paying attention helps, too. Poetry has trained me how to notice. It's difficult to stay down when you take a walk and notice light filtering through leaves. Does it solve your problem? No. But it can lift you out of the basement of where you are. Maybe it gets you to the first floor so you can function.These days we often wind up anxiously refreshing the news. Every new bit of negativity becomes like one of those dog shock collars. It's just so jarring.

I used to think that optimism was weak and sort of silly because people who were smart could see the world for what it was. Now I see optimism and vulnerability as signs of strength. It takes courage to see the good when things are hard -- when the dark is yelling so loud and taking up so much space.

 

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