[FIRST PERSON] The first time we sought the help of a child psychologist for our son

The pandemic has been tough on everyone. The isolation, the restrictions on our movement, fear and anxiety over COVID-19, uncertainty over school and work. All these weigh heavily on many minds, but we don’t often think about how difficult these things are for children, like our five-year-old son, Lucas.

One of the first things we noticed was his discomfort around new people. In the past Lucas had been quick to feel comfortable around new kids, even new adults, talking their ears off and playing within minutes of meeting them. But more recently we noticed his reluctance to talk to strangers, to interact with anybody new. For someone who used to be warm, friendly, and outgoing, we found this incredibly sad and a little worrisome.

It was so frustrating, and upsetting. I feared that it was our fault, allowing him too much YouTube and video games. I was worried we indulged him too much, then overcompensated by being too harsh when he threw a tantrum. I lost count of how many times we threatened to delete all his games, to lock up his tablet or his Nintendo Switch, to ban him from watching YouTube.

The doctor met with us via video call. She asked why we wanted to seek her help, and I told her everything – including the fact that I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and that I was worried Lucas would have the same. My husband told her what Lucas was like in school, how competitive he was, how quickly he would answer. We showed her his drawings.

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