That’s my life there. And this is my story: Getting pregnant early threw me for a loop. I had been careless at a time when I had been nothing but carefree. My bank account wasn’t ready for costly pedia visits, let alone for a secure future for my daughter. I wasn’t able to steel myself for years of soiled diapers and incomprehensible crying because it really wasn’t part of my plan. I didn’t think I was ever going to be ready for the enormity of raising a child.
Months after I’ve come to terms that I was indeed giving up chase for the life I wanted for the life I was dealt with and ultimately accepted, an opportunity for me to enjoy best of both worlds—to continue living my dream as a sports writer—presented itself. I couldn’t say no, even if it meant the end of morning playtime and afternoon naps with my little princess.
But every time I would bury myself in work, times that I would be so swamped that my daughter doesn’t even cross my mind, an uneasy feeling settles in my gut: I’m a horrible mother. And when you spend more time at your office desk than at home, that feeling is magnified by the littlest of things. When I find her rolling over with such ease and I don’t even have a clue when she started doing it.
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