The Cannes Film Festival's red carpet has transformed into a stage for the crème de la crème of Hollywood's beautiful agers, leaving the younger generation's stars in the shadows.
The Cannes Film Festival red carpet has never been more beige. Forget the starlets of Gen Z , it's the oldies but goodies that are fashion forward and center stage on the French Riviera.
From an 88-year-old Jane Fonda rocking a bodycon Gucci dress to Joan Collins at 92 in a frothy white showstopper wafting up the Palais des Festivals steps on the arm of a toyboy hubby, who needs a stair lift? Did anyone even notice braless bore Kristen Stewart, at a girlish 36 years old, in a baggy Chanel co-ord as 57-year-old Gillian Anderson's banshee hair-do hogged the headlines along with a sinewy Demi Moore, 63, sparking Ozempic rumors?
In a youth-obsessed industry, this sparky lesson in longevity should be lauded as a welcome burst of age positivity, but it does raise one big question. Collins, Fonda and Moore are icons but also a dying breed, when their megawatt star power dims for good, just who will fill their Louboutin's? Even the new generation's biggest stars Timothee Chalamet, 30, and Sydney Sweeney, 28, don't convince as a pair that will go the distance and acquire true megastar status.
You see substance and staying power are often AWOL amongst modern celebrity. Viral one moment, spat out the next, today's hot young things are more focused on social media likes, showmance and hawking their fashion lines than honing their craft. Instant and disposable.
Joan Collins, 92, wore a frothy white showstopper up the Palais des Festivals steps on the arm of her toyboy hubby at the Cannes Film Festival Jane Fonda, 88, was also in Cannes where she rocked a body con Gucci dress At 57, Gillian Anderson and her banshee hair-do hogged the headlines in France A sinewy Demi Moore , 63, also dazzled in Cannes where she sparked Ozempic rumors Chalamet has sullied his brand with reality royalty girlfriend Kylie Jenner and a 'more is more' approach to self-publicity. Interestingly, his tacky, stunt-fuelled Oscar campaign for ping-pong biopic, Marty Supreme, saw him chase the viral click but it apparently cost him the award and no doubt more enduring validation.
Meanwhile, Sweeney just keeps the shocks coming with her widely derided sexploits in the HBO series Euphoria with her character Cassie Howard joining OnlyFans. Earlier this season Howard was cosplaying as a dog and a baby in fetish roles, now she's wrestling near nude with a snake; it seems little is off limits.
Perhaps Sweeney will learn the hard way that, even as one in a long line of pneumatic blonde bombshells whose currency is rooted in sex, you still need some mystique and boundaries. Such appeal will be hard to maintain for stars, like Sweeney, who give away their most prized assets so early in their fame-cycles. Why stick around for more? Lasting power clearly isn't a concern for first-time Cannes-attendee Jordan Firstman, 34.
The crass comic may have seen a bidding war erupt over his indie-flick Club Kid, which was sold for $17 million to buzzy A24 films, but Firstman himself made headlines in France for all the wrong reasons. Along with planting a full-throttled lip-locker on Club Kid-star Diego Calva, Firstman displayed eye-watering levels of vulgarity by promoting the anal administration of drugs and alcohol .
Let's see if Firstman is invited back for a second round on the red carpet next year.
Compared to glamorous old-timers, Kristin Stewart looked like a bra-less bore along the Croisette Sydney Sweeney just keeps the shocks coming with her widely derided sexploits in the HBO series Euphoria with her character Cassie Howard joining OnlyFans First-time Cannes-attendee Jordan Firstman made headlines for all the wrong reasons, such as planting a full-throttled lip-locker on actor Diego Calva , star of his film Club Kid Lasting power clearly isn't a concern for first-time Cannes-attendee Jordan Firstman, 34 Firstman displayed eye-watering levels of vulgarity by promoting the anal administration of drugs and alcohol And the tactless, OnlyFans-behavior is only spreading up the age brackets, reaching established, second act stars who should clearly know better.
Oscar winners Halle Berry, 59, and Charlize Theron, 50, have mostly let their work do the talking throughout their careers, but even these two can't resist cheapening themselves with crass, ego-fuelled over sharing about their sex lives. Who can forget the X-Men star's touching Mother's Day tribute - filming herself in bed with boyfriend Van Hunt while hawking a sex 'intimacy' gel from her own product line to her 9.2 million Instagram followers.
'I'm going to tell you how my Mother's Day is going to end; we're going to give it a spin,' said the mother of two holding the tube of lube to the camera. Cringy but who cares, faux accessibility with impressionable followers never does any harm when trying to sell overpriced tat, just ask Gwyneth.
Then we had to endure Theron's sex boasts on the Call her Daddy podcast.
'I did just recently f*** a 26-year-old and it really was f***ing amazing…. ' came the grandiose announcement almost waiting for the fanfare. In short, the kind of creepy, naff comment that would have been rightly derided if made by a 50-something male celebrity but instead heavily indulged by over excited podcast host Alex Cooper. Collins, Fonda and Moore are icons but also a dying breed, when their megawatt star power dims for good, just who will fill their Louboutin's?
Halle Berry, 59, filmed herself on Mother's Day in bed with boyfriend Van Hunt while hawking a sex 'intimacy' gel from her own product line on social media Charlize Theron, 50, recently boasted on the Call Her Daddy podcast of having sex with a 26-year-old 'F****, yes….
' she cried punching the air. Calm down, dear. Oh my, ladies, where is your dignity and cool? Ok, in the digital age no one's expecting Garbo-esque aloofness but a bit of mystery and detachment wouldn't go amiss.
Imagine the likes of French acting legends Catherine Deneuve, 82, and Isabella Rosellini, 73, other women of a certain age who ruled the waves at Cannes last week, cheapening themselves in this way. No wonder, as the sun sets on the Croisette, Hollywood veterans have been so appreciated.
We're being starved of old school glamour, class and dignity, misty eyed for a golden age of stars who knew how to turn it on and hold back, who can make a statement without a fake nipple dress in sight. Sadly, in today's world of instant gratification such nuance may be lost forever.
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