Relationship advice: A seemingly wonderful guy reveals a dating and sexual history that his significant other finds alarming.
I’ve been seeing someone new for a couple of months now. It got very serious very quickly. I haven’t been treated this well in a long time, if ever. He’s attentive, sexy, smart, and fun. I’m learning he’s also very honest. That’s a good thing, right? I thought so too. But his honesty led him to reveal information to me that now I can’t brush off and I am afraid it may be affecting how I feel about him.
Now I’m feeling freaked out. Have I fallen for a total player? Is he going to cheat on me? Will he get bored in a few months because obviously variety is the spice of his life and he doesn’t know how to be with one woman? Then I feel terrible for leveraging these judgments. He’s been nothing but wonderful to me and he was completely honest when I asked him hard questions.
The only way to save this relationship is to be completely honest with him about where your head’s at: You regret asking about his past, it’s got you in something of a tailspin, and you need reassurance that his oats are sowed and he’s serious about commitment. It’s a shame you have to have this conversation, as his present-day actions seem to show he’s ready for the real thing. But until you shake your insecurities and get further validation, you’ll dwell on his past.
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