A seasoned couples therapist reveals common relationship mistakes and offers advice on navigating challenges. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, healthy conflict resolution, and prioritizing your partner's needs.
As a couples therapist with over 30 years of experience, I've witnessed partners repeating many similar mistakes, often unknowingly. Don't be discouraged if you're making some errors now. Simple adjustments, anytime, can significantly improve your relationship. While we invest in self-education as professionals and parents, many of us neglect the crucial skill of being a good partner: effectively handling conflict, expressing love and appreciation, and maintaining individual well-being.
\The richest people value the strength of their relationships. This growth begins when each person recognizes that their happiness and fulfillment originate from within, not their partner. This understanding is the foundation of my book's first pillar: 'relationship with self.' Investing in self-awareness empowers you to live authentically and happily. Knowing yourself paves the way for self-love, personal growth, and ultimately, taking responsibility for your own well-being. \One common error young couples make stems from the misconception that a healthy relationship should be effortless, devoid of friction. This misconception often prevents them from seeking counseling earlier, fearing that admitting to tension signifies a more severe problem than it truly is. A flourishing relationship, however, involves ongoing disconnections and reconnections, fostering trust and growth. When couples first enter therapy, I often say, 'I'm glad you're here. Your friction is not a bad sign. It indicates a call for growth. The key lies in learning how to approach your conflicts constructively, aiding personal and relational development. This begins with normalizing your challenges and embracing the issues you face rather than seeking quick fixes or avoidance.' \When something about your partner bothers you, the instinctive reaction is to try to change them. While addressing concerns is essential, there's often an excessive focus on what's wrong. When you feel compelled to criticize or alter your partner, ask yourself: 'What is this truly about?' Is it about them, or are you projecting unresolved issues within yourself? Often, the desire to change our partners stems from unmet needs or unaddressed emotional wounds within us. It's crucial to cultivate self-awareness and address these internal factors before attempting to change another person
RELATIONSHIPS COUPLES THERAPY COMMUNICATION CONFLICT RESOLUTION SELF-AWARENESS LOVE
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