I should be enjoying this. Why am I afraid it’s all going to fall apart?
. Every day brings its own challenge, and there are plenty of tears and fears and struggles.
My family, my marriage, my household, and my career are all on solid footing. I feel like, for the first time in ages, everything I really want most is either mine or within reach. When I take stock of my life, I see peace and possibilities with no giant, obvious hurdles to jump in the immediate future.I don’t want to be afraid, but sometimes anxiety tells me that I shouldn’t get too attached to this happiness because there is no way I deserve it.
I spend my whole life talking about self-love as it relates to body image and fat positivity. I’ve spent a lot of time being intentional about the way I talk to myself about my size, and I have transformed the way I think about my life in a fat body.I no longer let myself waste mental and emotional energy running down a list of all the ways my body falls short of perfection.
Then it asks me who the hell I think I am. Do I think I’m so extraordinary that I somehow actually deserve to be fully at peace?
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