I don’t want to spend the rest of my days with someone who doesn’t value me.
Published: Nov. 30, 2024, 11:30 a.m.DEAR ANNIE: I was a high school teacher in an urban area and just retired after a grueling 37-year career under very difficult circumstances. I’ve been married for 30-plus years and am the father of two daughters who are now in their late 20s.
Lots of my friends who retired with me were recognized properly by their wives and immediate family with gatherings and get-togethers to celebrate such a once-in-a-lifetime event. However, when I asked my wife if we could have some of my friends come for a small gathering at our house, her response was a big NO, reason being that she had had previous parties for her parents and siblings for other occasions and didn’t feel that celebrating my retirement was necessary.
When my 60th birthday came up, I asked my wife for a small birthday gathering of my friends at our house and again, she got mad at me just for asking. But a month later, she went all out on planning and making me go to her brother’s 60th birthday party. Despite her recognition and apologies, I still harbor resentment as my logic tells me that there was a reason for her ignoring such a milestone moment. Whenever I try to talk about it, she gets upset and walks away. On top of that, during our marriage, I’ve had to endure negative racist comments from her mother and brothers since we are a mixed-race couple. I’ve kind of brushed those off as it’s something I’ve learned to deal with all my life.
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